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Fathers for Justice claim responsibility for exploding breast implants

Fathers for Justice claim responsibility for exploding breast implants

by loucher on Jan 7, 2012 • No Comments

Fathers4Justice was formed in the UK in 2001 as a protest group whose aim was to secure equal rights for both parents in family law. Normally seen dicking around chained to Buckingham palace dressed as batman, the recent claim that Fathers for Justice are behind the exploding breast implants has come as...

Things you should never put on Facebook - A survivors guide

Things you should never put on Facebook – A survivors guide

by loucher on Dec 20, 2011 • No Comments

You may have read stories in the media about unfortunate individuals who have been sacked due to innocent comments they posted on Facebook. As everyone knows Facebook is largely used for impressing everyone with how popular you are, ranting about what a tosser your boss is or stalking someone who would...

How to survive a badger attack

How to survive a badger attack

by loucher on Dec 18, 2011 • 3 Comments

Most people think of the badger as a placid nocturnal creature that comes out of its set at night to snuffle around the place foraging for food. We all know they can be playful creatures that love to play chicken on country roads, sometimes with disastrous consequences for them and for...

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Police bring in snipers to deal with middle lane hoggers

Police bring in snipers to deal with middle lane hoggers

by loucher on Mar 30, 2012 • No Comments

Police in Warwickshire have announced plans to more effectively enforce lane discipline on the counties motorways. After receiving numerous complaints and spiralling machete attacks from motorists who just cant take it anymore the police decided enough was enough. Chief Constable Frederick’s insists that he has the full support of the people of Warwickshire: We have listened to...

Suspicions raised as Francis Maude found to own Britains last jerry can factory

Suspicions raised as Francis Maude found to own Britains last jerry can factory

by loucher on Mar 30, 2012 • No Comments

Francis Maude, the Cabinet Office Minister who told motorists to do the sensible thing and stockpile has been revealed as a major share holder in the previously stuggling jerry can manufacturer Jerricho. Francis urged drivers to do “the sensible thing” and make sure they had some explosive fuel carefully wedged in their boot as an...

Beach volley ball support collapses overnight as outfits get less skimpy

Beach volley ball support collapses overnight as outfits get less skimpy

by loucher on Mar 27, 2012 • No Comments

In what some commentators are describing as a spectacular own goal the federation that governs beach volleyball has decided to relax its strict dress code that forced players to compete in the skimpiest outfits permissible without an adult broadcast licence. Beach Volleyball tickets have been changing hands for up to £3000 a ticket on popular...

Army refuse request to fill in for prostitute strike

Army refuse request to fill in for prostitute strike

by loucher on Mar 27, 2012 • No Comments

The army have today said that they will under no circumstances fill in for a planned prostitute strike in London Driving a bloody truck full of fuel is one thing but we have to draw the line somewhere. I have done a tour of Afghanistan and put my life on the line for this country...

Deliver your own bloody letters say Royal Mail

Deliver your own bloody letters say Royal Mail

by loucher on Mar 27, 2012 • No Comments

The Royal Mail has announced that a first class stamp will rise from £0.46p to £0.60p later this year and if you don’t like it you can bloody well deliver your own letters. When asked about the rise a Royal Mail cleaner gave us this exclusive interview: No one sends letters anymore anyway its all this...

Report reveals that people like to steal and burn things down

Report reveals that people like to steal and burn things down

by loucher on Mar 27, 2012 • No Comments

An independent report has revealed what it believes where the main causes of last years riots that saw gangs of people take to the streets in many of Englands major cities with the intention to loot and cause criminal damage. It was mainly financially motivated. People discovered that stealing a new TV was actually much better...

New slimming chocolate launched. The more you eat the thinner you get!

New slimming chocolate launched. The more you eat the thinner you get!

by loucher on Mar 27, 2012 • No Comments

In our new section called “News you want to hear” we bring you exlusive news of a new study that reveals that stuffing your face with chocolate all day could be the way to a healthier lifestyle. The research sponsored by Cadburys interviewed over a 1,000 women who all lied about how much they ate...

Met office issue weather warning - cold weather may cause ice!

Met office issue weather warning – cold weather may cause ice!

by loucher on Dec 17, 2011 • 2 Comments

The Met offiice have issued a weather warning about expected icy conditions this weekend. The bulletin known internally as the Simpleton Brief is considered vital to stop widespread panic amongst the UK population. “It is important to warn people that when the temperature drops to around freezing we can expect some ice, snow and in...

How to tell if your man is a womaniser

How to tell if your man is a womaniser

by loucher on Dec 17, 2011 • 2 Comments

If he is reading this with you look for warning signs If you have doubts over whether your man is faithful look out for these telltale warning signs. Spotting if your man is a womaniser early in a relationship can spare you a lot of heart ache. He locks his phone and deletes all his text...

Durban Deal to save the world: 194 countries agree to switch off one light bulb each in 2020

Durban Deal to save the world: 194 countries agree to switch off one light bulb each in 2020

by loucher on Dec 14, 2011 • No Comments

After 3 days of tense and fraught negotiations the planet has been saved. The conference that looked like it was doomed to fail as countries struggled to unify behind one vision of how to save the planet was offered a last minute reprieve by an historic new agreement. The conference ended in applause as the...